They Bore Me

It’s the smell,

the season change.

Gets under my skin.

Warm days,

chilly nights.

My bones are shaking.

Not from the cold.

Phone is shaking.

It’s most likely her,

or possibly it’s her.

Neither are the one.

And the other girls

won’t be around for long.

Please Open Your Eyes

She wants you to be

her mannequin.

Dress you

the way she wants.

Paint your eyes

her favorite color.

Your hair,

that dark brown

she desires.

And she’ll convince you,

to get those piercings she likes.

Convince you,

to get those common tattoos.

She wants you to play

the music

all the warped bands play.

She’s convincing you

You’re all she wants

But you’re lying to yourself,

She’s lying to you.

You’re her substitute,

She’s too used

to get the real thing.

Still Far From A Medicine Man

Big eyes.

I called her owl eyes.

Brown eyes .

I kissed her.

I should keep away.

But I was invincible.

Owl’s on my side too.

Heart embedded,

not only skin.

I could see her mind,

her thoughts beautiful.

Death, misery.

But I was invincible.

Owl’s outside the window,

Desire.

I knew, oh I know.

Could see it all,

her mind open.

Owl’s in my bed,

singing me to sleep.

Breath leaving body,

who/hoo.

A question? Statement?

Unsure, invincibility.

Didn’t care.

But I wasn’t invincible.

Achilles heel.

Owl eyes,

peering up.

A beating feast.

damn I’m itching to get back into the gym. my normal schedule was messed up this week with the kids outta school but next week I’m getting back in it. next week is all strength then the next 4 weeks is about toning and abs. goal of 1000 inclined crunches per day every weekday. beer taken in only one night per week hard liquor the rest. omega 3 vitamins held off. lean protein like a motha fuck. by May I need that 6 pack i had in high school back. strength training is held off, no increases in march

He’s Calculated

Seven years,

borrowed time. Time, time,

time to pay.

Been running now,

the collector comes soon.

No more, more, more.

Do as much as possible.

This powder, capsules

WhiteBluePurpleOrangeYellow.

The AlesDriesSours.

Finish it.

Finish it yourself.

The collector’s gruesome.

This medicine cures the mental ailments.

Being left alone.

Sorrow engulfs.

The Ticking Of A New Life

Those blue eyes

always staring right through me.

I felt invisible in a way.

You saw me.

You spoke to me.

But not the words I wanted.

Not the eyes I wanted.

I wanted.

What’s a boy to do?

The other day I dreamed

of her, of you.

It was strange.

Haven’t thought of you in months.

Now I can’t get you out of my head;

…again.

That perfect one.

Your stupid jokes.

See us, laying in bed,

giggling all morning.

The shit we did.

The regrets we had.

‘Til we realized this,

this right here

is the product

of it all.

That’s why regrets,

we had

lost ownership.

That thump in my chest,

Though,

is just a day dream.

What I see when I close my eyes,

awake thinking of you.

I just wish…

I just wish your eyes

would become screens.

I’ll project this life for you.

Make you see there is someone there.

Locking Myself In A Room, Examining The Past 3 Months

Solitude,

she says

her only friend.

Locks herself up,

cell of a room.

Writing till her fingers go numb.

She preaches.

A guy like me would be her regret.

What her “friends” say,

tell her.

Slept with all ten.

I swear to her,

she’s different,

new,

unlike anyone I’ve seen.

I believe this to be true,

said it before.

Never felt like this.

She laughs,

finds me funny,

a joke.

Guess I’m fooling myself.

Blind to my potential,

become the man

we both want.

‘Til then,

take my glass.

Fill it

to the brim.

Drink and write this night away.

In the morning I’ll begin again.

A chase I never thought I’d want,

a girl I don’t think I’ll have.

Isn’t it funny,

the ones you actually are interested in…

couldn’t give a fuck about you. 

Futbol Season Is Over

That day,

my soul leapt from my body.

Out of my mouth.

Didn’t float up.

Just crashed to the hardwood.

I knew that was too much.

Examining myself on the floor,

if I knew it was too much, it was on purpose.

Hunter S. Thompson,

without the mess.

False Perception

That day,

she whispered in my ear.

I’ve had enough, I’m sleeping with someone else.

Tilted the glass and walked out the bar,

didn’t speak a word.

Running after me,

It’s your fault, distant prick.

Every word I’ve spoken to you, lies.

I never loved you.

I don’t even know why I told you that.

You’re looking right through me,

do you have anything to say?

That day.

Looked into her brown eyes,

saw myself and shrugged.

I don’t have words for the non existent.

CROOKS STEAL

Lovecraft wrote “I am Providence”, I write that I am the emerging adult of today. My experiences walking through this life, the stupid girls I’ve seen, the very best friends that will always have my back, reflected in everything I do.  More pieces and I’m gonna ship Johnny Walker for the Male Heart out. Hoping with fingers crossed that someone picks it up and feels inspired, feels in the company of friends, and will raise a glass to all the miserable bastards out there in the world. I don’t care about criticism. I don’t even want money from this I just want to be felt. Impacting BOYS like me that are terrified to grow up but feel it is coming. Ideals are destroyed and new ones grow as you get older, I’m just waiting to be shown mine.

                                                                             I AM THE EMERGING ADULT